Gender Rights Advocate Jamila Rizvi on Juggling Her Career, Motherhood, and Self-Care

The highly successful deputy managing director of 'Future Women' schedules time for rest in her diary.

Welcome to Bedtime Stories, an interview series where we ask inspiring individuals to share their nighttime routine and sleep secrets. For this instalment, Jamila Rizvi shares the morning and night rituals that support her multifaceted working life.

Gender rights advocate, author, mother, journalist, board member, podcaster, public speaker, and media commentator. Jamila Rizvi’s list of accolades is nothing short of awe-inspiring. The Canberra-born leader has always had a deep sense of fairness and believed in the right of everyone to belong. “My parents instilled this in me as a kid and I think it’s evident in the work I do now,” she shares with Bed Threads Journal.

Prior to entering the media, Jamila worked in politics as an advisor to the Rudd and Gillard governments, advising on issues including employment, women, media, child care, and youth affairs. Following this she joined women's media group, Mamamia, ultimately becoming the brand’s editor-in-chief.

Fast forward to now and she is a columnist at The Sydney Morning Herald and the deputy managing director of Future Women, an organisation committed to making gender equality a reality at work. Her work for Future Women involves supporting governments and employer organisations working towards gender equality. “Through the Future Women Jobs Academy, I’m really proud to work alongside women who face barriers returning to work, to help them gain employment. Being able to do paid work, and earn a fair wage is essential to gender equality, as well as to securing women’s collective economic security.”

Jamila has had five books published by Penguin Random House including the bestselling Not Just Lucky; a career manifesto for millennial women, and The Motherhood; an anthology of letters about life with a newborn.

In 2017, Jamila was diagnosed with a brain tumour that can’t be fully removed. As a result, self-care is highly important in her day-to-day life, and something she says looks different to your average person in their 30s. In response to her health condition, Jamila proudly serves as a board member of the Royal Melbourne Hospital Neuroscience Foundation.

Balancing a successful career, motherhood, and finding time for self-care is no mean feat, so we spoke to Jamila about how she navigates all three and the morning and nighttime routines that support her busy life.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jamila Rizvi (@jamilarizvi)

Hi Jamila! Welcome to Bedtime Stories. Can you walk us through your bedtime routine?

My bedtime routine is a fairly even mix of chaos and collapse. My husband and I work from home on alternate days. Whoever is at home is in charge of the early evening walk for our oversized muppet of a dog, Sonny and chauffeuring our seven-year-old son to his various activities and social engagements.

I wish dinner were the calm, ordered affair of my childhood. It’s anything but. Our evening meal tends to be coupled with a collection of other tasks including calendar alignment, spelling practice and most recently – magic tricks. Then, after my son and his collection of toy rabbits are in bed, the actual wind-down begins.

My husband and I tend to watch an episode of something, with him on the couch and me doing another task. I’m not good at sitting still, but cooking or baking late at night really relaxes me and helps clear my mind. I try to drink a full glass of water and if I have speaking engagements a mug of hot water, honey, and lemon. I’m disabled and rely on a number of medications, including injections and tablets taken before bed. And while I can manage to stay off my phone reasonably well in the evening, my work addiction means the laptop tends to be out until the very last moment before sleep.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jamila Rizvi (@jamilarizvi)

What sleep or beauty products do you swear by that you won’t go a night without?

For someone who barely used anything except soap on their face before the age of thirty, I’ve hit skincare hard ever since. I love the Tatcha rice wash, which is creamy and glowy, to take the day off and Sunday Riley Good Genes, which is a lactic acid treatment (may as well buy what you weren’t born with!). I use Charlotte Tilbury Magic Cream around the eyes and slather my whole face with Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream. I’m entirely reliant on my SLIP sleep mask, which is about routine as much as it is blocking out light. Also, my Bed Threads addiction is officially out of control!

What is your solution for those nights you simply can’t nod off to sleep?

My secret superpower is I’m an excellent sleeper. It's a rare night when I can’t fall asleep and is generally after days that are so massively mentally stimulating, I’m unable to switch off my brain. On those occasions, I try to focus on resting rather than getting anxious about not sleeping. I make sure I’m relatively cool in bed, even getting up to have a cold shower if necessary. And I love this particular sleepscape track on Spotify, it’s called Flying by Peder B Helland and you can find it by searching ‘Relaxing Sleep Music’ (original, eh?)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jamila Rizvi (@jamilarizvi)

How have you built confidence and/or resiliency over the course of your career?

I’m someone who loves what I do and takes my work really seriously. I pursue exceptional results which means I expect a lot from the team I work with. My confidence flows from the purpose of the work I do. I genuinely believe what I’m doing is important, particularly in the gender equality space. By focusing on why I’m trying to achieve something – which is the people that work will benefit – I tend to hold self-doubt at arms’ length.

In 2017, I got the news I needed brain surgery in the very same week I was offered – and had to turn down – my dream career opportunity. In any other circumstance I would have been devastated but when you’re focused on staying alive, other losses pale into insignificance. That has shaped my experience of work ever since. I’m not sure I’m necessarily more resilient but I’ve faced rock bottom and survived. I know I can do that again if I need to.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jamila Rizvi (@jamilarizvi)

What does self-care mean to you and how do you practice it?

For me, self-care looks a little different to your average 30-something. That’s because self-care is also about keeping me alive. My body no longer produces cortisol – that’s the so-called stress hormone everyone tries to keep from getting too high. I have the opposite problem, I take synthetic cortisol in the form of medication to get me through the day. When I don’t have enough in my body it can become dangerous quickly and so I’m finally learning to pace myself and rest. For me, that means not getting to bed too late, making time for strength training, drinking a tonne of water and tuning into where my body is at, regularly throughout the day.

How do you maintain your energy and enthusiasm throughout the day?

For really complex medical reasons, I don’t eat a huge amount. What that means is what I do eat has to be quality fuel for my body. I focus on getting enough protein and vegetables, being properly hydrated and resting when my body demands. Weight training has been fundamental to my recovery from medical interventions and my ongoing well-being. I also schedule time to rest in my diary. Otherwise, it simply won’t happen. I treat resting like a task I don’t like very much. I force myself to do it, and do it properly, because without it there is no energy and enthusiasm left for the things I love.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jamila Rizvi (@jamilarizvi)

How do you balance your work life, motherhood, and looking after yourself?

Not very well! I’ve always been an enthusiastic person. As a student, I was the one who signed up for every sports team, dance class, arts society, and political club that was on offer. Today that manifests as having too many jobs and regularly bemoaning I’m not doing any of them well enough.

I make time for looking after myself because I have to, rather than because I necessarily want to. When you’re disabled and chronically ill that’s non-negotiable. Being a mum is genuinely the best thing I get to do. I must have won the kid lottery because Rafi, who is seven, is remarkably relaxed about life. He is a real go-with-the-flow type and incredibly understanding of the pressures on both his parents. When I would go interstate for work, I used to explain to him all the reasons I had to go. Now, I’m more honest and explain why I get to go and remind him I love my work. I want him to have an appreciation that work is rewarding and fulfilling – and while he is always number one, his mum has other wonderful and meaningful things in her life.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Jamila Rizvi (@jamilarizvi)

Can you share a bit about your book ‘The Motherhood’?

When I became a mum, I was given all the books about how to look after my new baby. But there were no books about the new person I had become and the transition required to become her. That’s why, a couple of years later, I decided to create that book myself. The Motherhood is a collection of essays from Australian mothers about the first few months of becoming a parent. It was published in 2018 and I still get messages every day on social media from new mums who have found it consoling and affirming. I’m really proud of it.